Sunday, February 05, 2006

Superbowl Special

An interview with Jerome Bettis, done entirely in latin legal maxims. Jerome doesn't speak latin.

M: Thanks for taking time to be with us Jerome, we’re a big admirer of your work here at YALB

JB: Thanks M, I’m an avid reader of your site, glad to be here.
M: Now let’s get down to business. A lot has been made of the fact that this is your “homecoming”. Do you subscribe to the notion of domus sua cuique est tuissimum refugium? [to everyone his house is his surest refuge].
JB: Uhh, what?
M: Ok, next question. What was up with that fumble at the end of the Colts game? Everyone knows abundans cautela non nocet. [there is no harm done by great caution].
JB: Umm, I don’t really speak…
M: Ha ha! Good answer Jerome. I guess I can audi alteram parteram. [hear the other side]. It’s true that nemo tenetur ad impossibile. [no one is required to do what is impossible]. Everybody’s gotta fumble sometime.
JB: Right, the fumble. What had happened was…
M: 2 hands on the ball Jerome! Nemo contra factum suum proprium venire potest. [no one can go against his own deed].
JB: Look, I don’t speak Chinese
M: Of course not. Let’s move on to this Jerramy Stevens / Joey Porter feud. Do you believe injuria non excusat injuriam? [one wrong does not justify another]?
JB: Is this punk’d or something? (awkward pause) Ok fine, the feud. Really, the media has blown this….
M: Volenti non fit injuria! [that to which a man consents cannot be considered an injury]!
JB: Look, I’m warning you buddy, enough with the…..
M: Ignorantia juris quod quisque scire tenetur non excusat! [ignorance of the law is no excuse]!
JB: Alright, that’s it. (vicious blows to M’s soft head)
JB: (standing over M’s prone, bloody body) Rex non potest peccare. [the King can do no wrong]. Bitch.


Post a Comment

<< Home