Disorder in the court

As I'm too beat, and lazy, to write a real post, here are some great excerpts from "Disorder in the Court", a book about all the crazy shit that goes on the courtroom.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.