Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I have what you need

Starting a summer at a big law firm is scary. Unless you know a bunch of lawyers, or have worked at a firm in some capacity before (neither of which apply to me), you just don't know what to expect. So I'll tell you, cause I'm cool like that.

The first day will be orientation, which will last for another couple days. This is when you get to meet the other summer associates, or at least those who are starting that day. First impressions matter a lot, so don't be a dumbass. Continual nervous laughter is annoying but understandable. Talking about your raunchy fraternity days is not. Take a good look around, because you will be hooking up with at least one of these people this summer. I got mine out of the way early (thursday). I figured I didn't want that pressure hanging over my head for next 12 weeks. So far it's not too weird, but I'll let you know. Make sure to also pick out the smart nice one to whom you can ask questions the rest of the summer. I've already got mine on speed dial (she's on law review) (and this is the first time I've ever used 'whom' in my life. Damn firm).

At orientation you're going to learn how to use the firm's computer systems, how to deal with your secretary, and all that jazz. No one remembers it after, don't stress it. Just lay back and dream of all the nice things you're going to buy with the ridiculous money they're paying you. I'm thinking a deluxe jukebox that plays only 2pac. Thoughts?

The other big hurdle of the first day is the lunch with the associates. This is their first chance to check out the new meat, and trust me, they're looking. So look hot. Even after they discover my legal skills are lacking, and they made a huge mistake in hiring me, at least they'll say "damn that guy looks good. Maybe we should keep him around to deal with clients." This is my only hope.

So take this unsolicited advice and use it well. The lawyers keep telling me to enjoy this summer, the two hour lunches, the firm sponsored drinking events, the comforting coddling, because this is our last taste of freedom before we sign away the rest of our lives. That's probably the best advice of all.


Blogger The BLS said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:43 AM  
Blogger The BLS said...

Looking hot IS important for job success. I've been here a week, know that all the male lawyers close to my age are married, yet they still deny they have wives when I'm around... what's up with that?

Hope the job goes well for you, though.

10:44 AM  
Blogger ptlawstudent said...

Glad you know the reality of being a summer associate. Summers often don't realize how much the firm is lying to them about the "laid back" and "family friendly" culture being presented. I've watched numerous summers get hired and leave within a year or two of joining BigLaw Firm. My favorite is the pro bono hook used to get those summers that still have a social conscience. It is an amusing game that gets played.

12:37 PM  
Blogger LawMommy said...

Teach me brother law student because the "Unless you know a bunch of lawyers" part doesn't apply to me either.
Glad to see you back.


9:38 PM  
Blogger M said...

The summers actually seem to very aware of the fact that this is way better than the reality, ptlaw. We're enjoying it while we can!

BLS- I'm sure you're the hotness, that's why.

Colleen- don't worry, I got your back.

1:49 AM  

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