Honesty is not the best...
OK, let's be honest faithful readers. I mean real honest, just for once. I'm drunk. I'm not exaggerating, I'm drunk off my fucking ass. It's ridiculously early in the morning, I've been drinkin top shelf liquor at a firm event all night, and I can barely see this screen. So really, in this confessional mood, I need to talk about drinking at these events. I figure this is the best time.
There is a slim line. A Nicole Richie ass slim line that we must walk, when participating in this ridiculous 3 month long nonbillable interview. Fact #1- I like to get drunk. I'm talking NDC or L&A drunk. This is my current level of intoxication as I write this post. Fact #2- the firm throws many summer events with open bars. Fact #3- many partners attend these events. Said partners are the ones evaluating my summer offer. This is just some background.
So let's talk about right now. I mean right this fuckimg minute. I just left a firm event. I drank a lot. We went to a swanky ass club and spent a lot of swanky ass money. My fellow summers don't seem to know how to maintain. One just told us she'd kill us all, another just got arrested for public intoxication. I mean, come on, how are you supposed to get an offer when the firm has to bail you out of the drunk-tank? I tried to make it all cool with the partner, you know, pretend like this was a dress rehearsal for the MTV movie awards, but I don't think he bought it. Is that not a good excuse? But whatever, who cares about that. The main point is that it's a fine line. Every time I mention that one time I got her to say yes to anal, I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder. Every time I embellish the story about that time we got arrested in Spain, it's like I have to scale it back to a mere imprisonment. But if I just stay quiet, and listen to the fun incidents of macrame mishaps, I die a little inside. I need to drink to live, but must live to drink. This is the circle of summer associateship, and this is why I must post my pain.
Thank you all for reading this best post ever, I promise to return to sober posting of nonsensical stories next week.
and exeunt.
There is a slim line. A Nicole Richie ass slim line that we must walk, when participating in this ridiculous 3 month long nonbillable interview. Fact #1- I like to get drunk. I'm talking NDC or L&A drunk. This is my current level of intoxication as I write this post. Fact #2- the firm throws many summer events with open bars. Fact #3- many partners attend these events. Said partners are the ones evaluating my summer offer. This is just some background.
So let's talk about right now. I mean right this fuckimg minute. I just left a firm event. I drank a lot. We went to a swanky ass club and spent a lot of swanky ass money. My fellow summers don't seem to know how to maintain. One just told us she'd kill us all, another just got arrested for public intoxication. I mean, come on, how are you supposed to get an offer when the firm has to bail you out of the drunk-tank? I tried to make it all cool with the partner, you know, pretend like this was a dress rehearsal for the MTV movie awards, but I don't think he bought it. Is that not a good excuse? But whatever, who cares about that. The main point is that it's a fine line. Every time I mention that one time I got her to say yes to anal, I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder. Every time I embellish the story about that time we got arrested in Spain, it's like I have to scale it back to a mere imprisonment. But if I just stay quiet, and listen to the fun incidents of macrame mishaps, I die a little inside. I need to drink to live, but must live to drink. This is the circle of summer associateship, and this is why I must post my pain.
Thank you all for reading this best post ever, I promise to return to sober posting of nonsensical stories next week.
and exeunt.
posted by M at 3:52 AM
6 Comments:
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Holy crap. This has got to be one of the funnier drunken posts I have ever seen. What I like is that even in your drunken state, you managed to use words like "embellish" and "imprisonment," IN ADDITION to correct spelling and grammar. When I'm drunk, I can't SEE, let alone type.
Bravo.
If you're really the sort of person who says "exeunt" when you're drunk, then I predict a lifetime of getting away with severe inebriation. Nice.
Ditto. You know, I think this was one of your more coherent posts
j/k LOL
Wow, I do NOT remember posting this at all. I don't know what the MTV movie awards thing was all about either.
But it was a fun night.
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