Sunday, June 18, 2006

Summer Gunners

For some reason I expected a gunner reprieve this summer, thinking that they would somehow disappear once they were out of the law school environment. I was wrong, as usual. Even though our firm gives out basically 100% offers every year, so there's no real competition for jobs, some people insist on going "above and beyond." While every attorney keeps emphasizing that we should be out of there by 5, that the summer is for fun and not for work, we have those few summers who refuse to play ball. While I'm out getting drunk and inappropriate at summer events they're refining their memos and volunteering for extra due diligence.

So how to deal with this problem? It kinda makes the rest of us look bad when there are a few gunners billing more than my 3 hours a day (which all get written off anyway). Obviously working the same hours is out of the question. We can't use the regular lawschool method- ostracize them mercilessly- because the attorneys want to see that we can play nice. They seem to be oblivious to group pressure anyway.

This is a problem for many of my friends this summer, as my friends are lazy, and we hate gunners. So what to do law blog reading world?? Let's figure this one out together, I submit myself to your wisdom. This is a chance where the internet can make a real difference in someone's life.

Kind of like the star wars kid.


Blogger Elle Woods said...

Wow, this is weird. I'm NOT a law school gunner, but I am a "Summer Gunner." I bill at least 8 hours a day since that is what my boss expects. I Stay late, get there early, work weekends; recently I talked to another summer and she was shocked I stay after 5 ever.

7:24 AM  
Blogger LawNut said...

Continue to be lazy - there's plenty of time for real working. Go to the shore instead.
Thanks for the link :-)

11:22 AM  
Blogger Lily Graypure said...

Talk to one of the bosses about how you feel bad for so and so cus they're always working. Get the boss to insist that they come out to some event, then spike the gunner's drink with extra alcohol.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Legally Intoxicated (Retired) said...

Tell them that some of the partners are taking a select group of summers out for some midnight golf, and to keep it "hush-hush." Then have him show up on the green at the 9th hole at midnight, a la Happy Gilmore.

Or punch him in the face when the partners aren't looking.

4:03 PM  
Blogger M said...

elle- we always knew you were a gunner, you just hadn't admitted it yet.

lily- and maybe roofies for the girls? sounds like a plan

intox- good call, but I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast :)

3:24 AM  
Blogger dicta said...

lawnut - the shore? are you from jersey? (that's not an insult, sorry if it came off as one)

i think l.a. is on the right track. if there's 1 thing that you can do to gunners, it's play with their emotions. freak them out, stress them out, etc. they fall for it every time. they need to feel superior at any cost, so the solution is just increasing the cost.

10:48 AM  
Blogger M said...

Good call on "the shore" dicta, I didn't want to have to pull out the B&T jokes, but if I'm not the only one that noticed.....

4:19 AM  
Blogger Christian said...

Im working for an office this summer that highly emphasizes the "summer" aspect and socializing with the attorneys... We have the gunners too, and every time I am out drinking with the attorneys, I just mention how I am dissapointed that the other summers arent much fun to be around. I know personally that this has gotten back to the partners... *poof* All of a sudden I am their favorite BECAUSE I am slacking off. Its driving the gunners batty. You might want to try a tactic like that.

8:55 AM  

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