You're fired!
No, I'm not fired, but it was a little close there for a while. As my last semi-coherent post made evident, I like to drink, and I can get a little crazy. Apparently I made a few somewhat sexual comments about one of the partners, nothing too horrible, but I got three visits from people on the summer committee during the past week. They actually cut me more slack than I expected, the conversations went a little something like this.
lawyer: "So how was the event"
me: "it was fun, a little crazy"
lawyer: "oh yeah? I heard it was a lot of fun, what happened?"
(that they don't know exactly what happened is an obvious lie, and we both know it, but to maintain a professional level of decorum we pretend this isn't a warning)
me: (recount story, somewhat toned down)
lawyer: "well, just remember this is a professional environment.....bla bla bla....control.....bla bla....still a job interview......bla bla bla."
me: (apologize profusely, promise it will never happen again, knowing full well it will, resigning self to inevitable fate)
So while I didn't get fired, did you hear about the summer from USC who did? This is the hot topic among the summers. He was at Paul Hastings LA, got really drunk at an event, and started saying how he was going to fuck one of the associate's wives. After they told him to leave he then said he would kill the associate. There are conflicting reports over whether the method of killing was to be by knife or by gun.
Why didn't we have this guy at my firm? I look GREAT compared to that guy.
This is how far I've sunk.
lawyer: "So how was the event"
me: "it was fun, a little crazy"
lawyer: "oh yeah? I heard it was a lot of fun, what happened?"
(that they don't know exactly what happened is an obvious lie, and we both know it, but to maintain a professional level of decorum we pretend this isn't a warning)
me: (recount story, somewhat toned down)
lawyer: "well, just remember this is a professional environment.....bla bla bla....control.....bla bla....still a job interview......bla bla bla."
me: (apologize profusely, promise it will never happen again, knowing full well it will, resigning self to inevitable fate)
So while I didn't get fired, did you hear about the summer from USC who did? This is the hot topic among the summers. He was at Paul Hastings LA, got really drunk at an event, and started saying how he was going to fuck one of the associate's wives. After they told him to leave he then said he would kill the associate. There are conflicting reports over whether the method of killing was to be by knife or by gun.
Why didn't we have this guy at my firm? I look GREAT compared to that guy.
This is how far I've sunk.
posted by M at 2:51 AM
3 Comments:
Fuck, I'm going to have to cite Tucker Max again. Read "The Infamous Charity Auction Debacle" about how he got fired from being a summer at some California firm.
Yes, yes you DO look great as compared to THAT guy.
But, M... don't be THAT guy. :)
Liqour and the Law just don't mix. Stick to mary-juana.
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