Friday, February 17, 2006

Genderiffic #2- Civil Procedure

If civil procedure had a gender, what would it be?

Civpro is all about the rules. Do this, don't do that. Seems easy, right? Well, I'm not going to take the easy route and declare civpro a woman right off the bat, so let's do some detailed analysis and make some more broad generalizations.

Rule 8a: requires a short and plain statement of the claim, and what relief is sought. Clearly a masculine rule. The female version would be a drawn out discussion in which you could never say what the problem was, or what you wanted. You should just know.

Rule 12e: motion for a more definite statement. A guy's dream. This would save so much grief if we could make this motion in a relationship.

Rule 14a: original defendant can bring in a third party, and say it was really all their fault. Female rule. Generally, when guys have fucked up they'll admit it and say they're sorry. Women tend to avoid confrontation, and therefore try to deflect attacks onto other causes. It's not them, it's the PMS.

Rule 24: allows you to intervene in a lawsuit. Guys usually stick out of each other's business, girls have to know everything about everyone. Female rule.

These four rules come to a tie, but overall most of the rules focus on one thing: clarity. They seek to eliminate ambiguity and make things hassle free and simple. Civpro is definitely a guy.


Blogger Walking Tort said...

I agree with your final answer here, but I have to say, its usually the men who want to bring the 3rd party in, usually the best friend/sister/random chick at the bar, so I'd say that 14a is more of a man rule.

But still, that goes with what you said anyway.

4:27 PM  
Blogger sadielady said...

I'm on board with your torts analysis, but I have to respectfully disagree with some of your civ pro conclusions. Rule 8a: when do men ever make a statement about what's on their minds and what it is they want, whether it's short and plain or long and drawn out? Clearly this can't be a masculine rule when no men ever use it. Therefore, it must be female.
Rule 12e: same analysis; how often would women love to use this rule to force a guy to make a definite statment about his feelings!!
Rule 14a: more often than not, men are the ones who are always looking for someone else to blame. Even if something is CLEARLY their fault.
Rule 24: ok, I'll give you this one. Of course we have to know everything about everyone - it's a female thing.

good post.

5:47 PM  
Blogger The Namby Pamby said...

the 12e motion is what dubbed me the namby very partial to it.

6:36 PM  
Blogger M said...

I stand by analysis Sadie. Men are easy to figure out, we want food, sleep, sex, not necessarily in that order. If you want to know something, just ask! We don't mind, we won't give you the runaround. That is, if you would JUST STOP PRESSURING US! :)

6:14 PM  

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