Sacrifice Fly
Just call me the "Teflon John". After the last hookup I once again received no reprimand. Of course, we'll find the real truth when offers are handed out (or not) next week, but I'm feelin pretty good.
So all of this summer sluttin got me to thinking. How can I turn this into a competition? The only thing better than hookin up with hot girls you work with is being able to quantify it somehow, and then rubbing it in your buddies' faces. So with this in mind, I present to you the real game of summer- Sacrifice Fly!!
Sacrifice Fly plays like baseball, both in basic rules, and that the goal is to score more than the other team. Here's how it works. Summer hookups (with any member of your firm, summer class, or support staff) will lead to "hits". Once you've accumulated enough hits to move around the diamond, you get a run. Your team can have as many "at bats" as it wants, every hookup counts. Hookups (which can be defined however you want, but I'd suggest makeouts, as it will lead to higher scores, and probably more risk taking, which is more fun for all) are scored thusly:
Single- hookup with support staff
Double- hookup with fellow summer associate
Triple- hookup with associate
Home Run- hookup with partner
Hits advance every player on base the same number of bases, and there are no extra bases (so a double will advance a player on first base to third). There are phantom runners that take the place of the players, so that if one person hits four singles in a row before anyone else gets a hit, that would count as one run. Innings will last a month each, so there will be four in total- May, June, July August. Let's take a look at a sample inning of Sacrifice Fly so that you all get how it works.
Sacrifice Fly. Play on my friends, play on.
So all of this summer sluttin got me to thinking. How can I turn this into a competition? The only thing better than hookin up with hot girls you work with is being able to quantify it somehow, and then rubbing it in your buddies' faces. So with this in mind, I present to you the real game of summer- Sacrifice Fly!!
Sacrifice Fly plays like baseball, both in basic rules, and that the goal is to score more than the other team. Here's how it works. Summer hookups (with any member of your firm, summer class, or support staff) will lead to "hits". Once you've accumulated enough hits to move around the diamond, you get a run. Your team can have as many "at bats" as it wants, every hookup counts. Hookups (which can be defined however you want, but I'd suggest makeouts, as it will lead to higher scores, and probably more risk taking, which is more fun for all) are scored thusly:
Single- hookup with support staff
Double- hookup with fellow summer associate
Triple- hookup with associate
Home Run- hookup with partner
Hits advance every player on base the same number of bases, and there are no extra bases (so a double will advance a player on first base to third). There are phantom runners that take the place of the players, so that if one person hits four singles in a row before anyone else gets a hit, that would count as one run. Innings will last a month each, so there will be four in total- May, June, July August. Let's take a look at a sample inning of Sacrifice Fly so that you all get how it works.
- Player #1 hits a single, Player # 2 hits a double, Player # 3 hits a double, Player #4 hits a home run, Player #5 hits a single, inning ends (midnight May 31). How many runs? (this is like an LSAT question!).
- #1 puts a player on first, #2 advances #1 to third base, and #2 to second, #3 drives home #1 and #2, and is now on second. #4 drives home himself and #3. #5 is left on base. So that's 4 runs total. You follow? If not then you don't deserve to hook up with anyone anyway you dumbass, so just quit now.
Sacrifice Fly. Play on my friends, play on.
5 Comments:
Oh to be young and single...
Oh who am I kidding. Young and single, no one would have wanted me on the team anyway. I have no skillz
:-)
How are you defining "hookup"? Heavy makeout? Genital contact? Oral sex? Vaginal sex? Anal sex? Facial? Dirty Sanchez?
Rule clarification: Hookups only count as hits the first time they happen with a certain person, any subsequent hookups are mere fun. Side bets can be placed if wished. Hookups with a person from the same team are all good, but are still subject to the one hookup rule.
Hookups are defined however the league decides (see rules in body above, thanks for the close reading LI!) but makeouts are suggested. It leads to a lot more fun. A makeout is defined as a period of kissing lasting at least 4 minutes, involving tongue. Light petting is also encouraged.
I have received some questions about how we can make sure that people don't lie about their scores. Sacrifice fly is a game that is played on honor, and trust. Because as lawyers, if we don't have our ethics, what do we have?
I'd suggest you switch the single and double around. Summer associates are easier to score with than the support staff.
I agree with ptlawstudent, I would switch that order around. Especially because it will be more difficult for any female players to score with a support staff person, since the majority of support staff people in law offices are female. That leaves few options for the female players. Unless couriers count - do couriers count? I'm always getting deliveries from hot young couriers from other law firms. If not, I guess the female players out there who are really ambitious and want to win are just going to have to have some lesbian makeout sessions. You know, for the good of the team.
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